It's Only Old Age

Why won't everyone leave me alone?
Let me die at home?
The way I want it to be.

Why did someone come for me?
Take me to a place
I don't want to be?
A place they call  a "home".

It's only old age.
It's not like I've lost my mind.
It's just old age.
I might be old, but it's mine.
It's MY old age.

They never care to hear
what i have to say.
The things I saw, the things I learned
back in the old days.

They show such discuss
when I can't control my bodily functions.
I sense they can't wait
until I finally cross the junction (between life and death).
I only wish I could explain.

It's only old age.
I'm not playing a game.
It's called old age, and I know why.
They're afraid that someday
they'll realize their life may end just like mine...
someday.

Old age. They just can't face the fact
it's just old age and
you can't turn your life back (in time).
Old age....

It's embarrassing when your mind is so strong.
Yet your body can no longer play along.
That's when you realize...
It's just old age.... old age.
won't be long until you're gone,
and you are ready.
What's taken so long... to get home.

Today

Today. I woke up just before the sun went down.
Today. I was lucky just to find my way around.
Cause yesterday, I couldn't find a reason why
I shouldn't get drunk, and let life pass me by.

Today. I question why I'm alive.
Today. I wonder why God didn't let me die.
Cause yesterday,  I decided it was time
to drink like I was down to my last dime.

Today. I stand here in the bathroom shower.
Today. I'm pissed cause I was too much of a coward.
Cause yesterday. I made the clear choice.
that  I would not be here today. No longer a voice.

Today. I can't but wonder why.
Today. God! Why didn't you let me die?
Cause yesterday, I was so aware it was time
to drink like I was down to my last dime.

Today. I am alive. Damn! I can tear up this written goodbye.
Yesterday.  I convinced myself  no one would cry
knowing that I would not be here... today.

What could You have wanted me to do yesterday
so that You kept me alive until today?

Every day?

Today, I have to wonder why
I am here to write these words good-bye.
Knowing You won't let me die
cause everyday is yesterday. Not today.
Like "Groundhog Day".

Goodbye... Until tomorrow. Or is it yesterday. Or is it today?

Again.....